despite all my troubles and worries

I am still alive. I hear the constant everyday disturbamces from the neighbouring houses. I get up this morning and prepare my simple but satisfying breakfast for myself and my family. I habitually browse the internet, I sometimes laugh at some funny videos when i find them or use reddit to indulge in idle pleasures and trolling when i am in a bad mood. There is more to life than merely consuming and I have been feeling guilty for all the time i have spent consuming and not creating. Not to mention also the fact that the lifestyle i am living now is simply not conducive for learning,creating and improving. I got no hobbies i am working on. For sure i could name my so-called hobbies that i have like programming but i dont practice that enough to convince anyone or myself that that is really true. I also like writing but I have a shitload of stuff i need to improve on and when it comes to putting what i think i know about writing i shy away or perform substandardly. I dont like to be tested it seems. I dont want to discover and re-discover new and old weaknesses. I do a pretty poor job trying to conceal my weaknesses and i end up wasting the time and the opportunity to actually do something about my weaknesses in the process.

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